My three-day trip to Toronto went well

Even though I made the trip to attend my great-uncle's funeral, it was nice to see some aunts, uncles, and cousins I hadn't seen in a long time.

While I was in Toronto, I stopped by the J-Town supermarket on Steeles Avenue in Markham. It's a supermarket and food court dedicated to only Japanese food. I had a yummy teriyaki salmon donburi there.

I also met up with an old high school friend and we had lunch at Ouzeri on The Danforth. I miss the Greektown area of The Danforth so much! I lived in Toronto for five years while I was working on my undergraduate degree at U of T in the early '90s and I used go to The Danforth all the time for a late-night supper of souvlaki. Good times.

The Bassguy Dot TK Video Game Awards

In responce to the casual gamer bullshit that Spike TV spoon feeds the brain damaged Madden addicts every year, I have desided to make my own Video Game Award Show. I'll cover most of the quality games that where passed over, in favor of blood, guns, and football.

Role Playing Game of the Year
Paper Mario: The Thousand Year Door

Coming from a RPG fan from way back, this is a role playing game for role playing gamers. The menu system is easy, without being simple. You can do about anything in the menu, within thirty seconds. The dialog is amusing and at some points, just out-right funny. You really get to "know" the characters as you progress. On a console, until recently, lacking RPGs, this is a must have.

Remake of the Year
Metal Gear Solid: The Twin Snakes

What can you do to a game, regaurded by many as the best game ever made? Remake it with better graphics and gameplay, that's what. Silicon Knights already had the plot and the the game engine layed out for them, all they had to do was put it together. They certainly did a great job with integrating the classic game with the new graphics and gameplay. With completely new cutscenes and new Nintendo / Silicon Knights Easter eggs, this game can be chalked up with the original.

Action Game of the Year
Prince of Persia: Warrior Within

After the absolute gem that was "Prince of Persia: The Sands of Time", how can Ubisoft Monteal possibly follow up? With another "Prince of Persia", dummy. Starting a few years after we left the prince on "The Sands of Time", "Warrior Within" uses the same basic game engine as it's predisessor, except with a completely revamped battlle system. The new features and continued plot give veterans something talk about and people new to the game something to be in awe over.

First Person Game of the Year
Metroid Prime 2: Echoes

If you enjoyed "Metroid Prime", you'll love "Metroid Prime 2: Echoes." In the same fashion as "Majora's Mask," "Prime 2" uses a modified version of the same engine as it's predecessor, but adding new features, that make a great game, better. The added multiplayer aspect is limited, but considering it's a bonus, it's definatly a worth while addition.

2D Game of the Year
Final Fantasy I & II: Dawn of Souls

This game can be summed up in three words: Buy This Game. If you haven't played the original Final Fantasies, this is your chance to play through them in an expanded form. Updated graphics, new game engine, and hours upon hours of added content, all on a portable system gives RPG fans of all degrees something to love. If you hate yourself, don't buy this game. Otherwise, throw away your social life for a month or two and play this game.

Connectable and/or Online Game of the Year
Final Fantasy: Crystal Chronicles

While some people over looked this title, anyone that has a brain picked up this great action role playing game. This game uses the best of both the Gameboy Advance and Gamecube, to create a stunning and unique combonation of multiplayer experiance, graphics, and character development. Instead of leveling up you character like you would normaly, you have to help your allies achieve goals in each level to get a better chance at a getting a good item at the end.

Honorable Mention
The Legend of Zelda: Four Swords Adventure

Although it was outdone by "Crystal Chronicles" in the Connectable catagory, this is a quality game. It doesn't really introduce anything new, but if you want to relive classic gameplay with the option of multiplayer, this should be at the top of your list.


I think that about sums it up, but I'd be glad to read your views on the subject. Post any games you'd like to see here in the comments (although I will probably just mock you).

A Terrible Story

During my heady student days, I had the pleasure of stacking shelves on the late shift for a large supermarket chain.

Various members of the dairy produce aisle team, with whom I worked, would often help themselves to chocolate bars or bags of crisps. The thief would hide the stolen items in an empty box and each member of the team would help themselves to their share of the loot.

One evening I handed one of my colleagues 2 chunks of ex-lax(laxative chocolate), and walked away. He eat both of them. At the end of the shift I handed him the remaining 10 chunks and joked "Here is the rest of the chocolate bar" and walked away.

At this point it should be noted that each chunk has the word ex-lax written on it and as someone had been tricked the week before, I thought he would have got the joke, realised what happened and called me a cunt.

However... he ate the rest of the bar. All 12 chunks in fact! After checking the recommended dosage and discovering that 1 chunk a day should suffice, I decided to come clean and explain what had just happened. He was not exactly happy for obvious reasons and so we decided the best solution was for him to throw up, we tried the fingers down the throat which didn't work, and a few other things, before coming up with the idea of taking him back to our house where we could get him really stoned with bong hits. He had never smoked dope before so thought it wouldn't take much to get him vomiting. Hit after hit he took, until finally he did throw up, unfortunately we were too late, he begun chundering at exactly the same time as the laxative kicked in.

So now, I have one of my work colleagues stoned for the first time ever, puking up in to the washbasin, while sat on the toilet shitting as if it's going out of fashion and I am unable to do anything to help this poor victim of some stupid prank that had now gone horribly wrong.

The outcome was that he spent the next 4 days on and off the toilet and he never spoke to me again.

And another...

I've got this mate who has a filthy mind which occaisonally breaks through into reality.

One night on his walk home drunk, he's dying to drop the kids off at the pool. He's getting more and more desperate until he's only about 150 yards from his house and he can't wait any longer. Now there's this fancy designer menswear shop nearby, and as it's in the wee hours (no-one's about) he squats on their step and marks his territory (dunno if it was a class-war decision or just hi-jinks).

He then proceeds to wipe his arse on his pants, which he then posts through the shop's letterbox to be found when they openmed the following Monday.

I mean, I ask you...?

Mind you, his brother once climbed on a pub roof to shit on it...

Sugar paper

One time when I was in either first or middle school, I can't remember which, I remember being told that the paper they used as backing for all the notice boards where they used to pin all our shit projects and poorly draw artwork was called 'sugar paper'

I'm sure you all had the same paper at your school, its a standard of all schools along with bullies and dinner ladies. Anyway I decided, in my small child's brain, that if it was sugar paper it ought to taste quite nice and sweet. I tore a big corner of one of the notice boards when no one was looking and pocketted it to eat later and try out my theory.

I remember the paper was black and didn't taste sweet at all and moreover it turned my shit green for two days.